admiring throng

and who deplored the fact that she let Lily breakfast in bed when the girl had no prospects before her. was throbbing inwardly with a rush of thoughts. But if no one else asks her--you know they NEVER go to hotels. It seemed to her that she was again descending the staircase from Selden's rooms; and looking down to remonstrate with the dispenser of the soapy flood. To Miss Bart. Gryce was touched by her disinterestedness. tried to give him the welcome he expected; but there was something in the quality of his geniality which chilled her own. Trenor. and of the difficulties on which that fear was contingent. he told me he had never seen a girl play cards for money till he saw you doing it the other night? And he lives on the interest of his income. Fisher's volubility was enhancing her own repose. As she passed Mr. relieved of her vague apprehension."But it is only the Wetheralls and Carry.Lily had received his sympathy Adidas F50 adiZero FG languid gratitude. And poor Carry has to consider every dollar. Or if she'd leave him alone."Oh. and as the need of economy and self-denial receded from her foreground she felt herself ready to meet any other demand which life might make.Lily obeyed. with an expensive glitter: she was the kind of woman who wore jet at breakfast. and papers falling over on the floor. and his very back conscious of the privilege of being seen with her. She was too late. Peniston the domestic equivalent of a religious retreat. It would be a rest from worry. Lily."There was a moment's pause. in a pew almost facing her. It was clear that the young lady was badly frightened. The soft isolation of the falling day enveloped them: they seemed lifted into a finer air. The landscape outspread below her seemed an enlargement of her present mood. "Unless it's the electric light---" she reflected. whose present misery was being fed by a rapidly rising tide of reminiscence; "last year. as far removed as possible from any assertion of personal advantage. borrowed money of an elderly cousin."You collect." Miss Farish continued.Of course.In the hansom she leaned back with a sigh. Lily found herself the centre of that feminine solicitude which envelops a young woman in the mating season. since the disappointment he so candidly betrayed would surely whet his appetite for the afternoon walk. Her cheek burned at the recollection. during the last three or four weeks. and here and there the lingering green of an oak-grove. I'm so hot and thirsty--and what a hideous place New York is!" She looked despairingly up and down the dreary thoroughfare. the train gave a lurch. Gryce. that's rather out of my line. without answering. The protective instinct always nerved her to successful dissimulation. had shown no signs of expecting Lily at the bridge-table. yawning and pinning each other's veils and ribbons as they came. or knew anything about them; and the consciousness of this ignorance threw Mr. "You could give 'em the whole outfit and win at a canter!""Ah. Percy Gryce's future as combined with her own. it was easy to resolve that she would never again find herself in such straits.""The Benedick?" She looked gently puzzled.. Dorset had her to stay with Percy Gryce. and they were alone. and Mr. who was spoken of by her friends as a "wonderful manager. "I don't underrate the decorative side of life. Almost at once he answered quite simply: "But you do care for them. Her visions of a brilliant marriage for Lily had faded after the first year. "I wish I knew--I wish I could make you out. while every nerve in her throbbed with the consciousness of what Selden must have thought of the scene. She greatly preferred the brilliant and unreliable Lily. Trenor had turned away. The peculiar charm of her feeling for Selden was that she understood it; she could put her finger on every link of the chain that was drawing them together. following her glance. and dogged her down the platform. with the persistency of Mr. Bart criticized. and sincerely admired the purple satin drawing-room curtains. "Why do we call all our generous ideas illusions. Mr. Mr. were starting in automobiles on a visit to the Van Osburghs at Peekskill. You must have been uncommonly hard up for something to do. and she pictured herself." she said with charming compunction. when a woman like Carry Fisher could make a living unrebuked from the good-nature of her men friends and the tolerance of their wives? It all turned on the tiresome distinction between what a married woman might. one would rather be the fire that tempers a sword than the fish that dyes a purple cloak. with her famous lashes drooped above a prayer-book. but made Mrs."You see I came after all. But dinginess is a quality which assumes all manner of disguises; and Lily soon found that it was as latent in the expensive routine of her aunt's life as in the makeshift existence of a continental pension. Mrs. Gryce was of the small chary type most inaccessible to impulses and emotions." Lily began. Why can't you Adidas Copa Mundial AG back to Bellomont this evening? We're all alone. Can't some one be put somewhere else? I want to be with my friends. to the death. Mrs. She had always been glad to sit next to him at dinner. But the fact that he was for the most part unconscious. I wasn't thinking of Mrs. that horrid man? Oh. almost flinging Miss Bart into his arms."There was a moment's pause. sticking manfully to his guns. put her in possession of the letters; she knew only that the door had finally closed."The fact that the remark was in distinctly bad taste did not make it any easier to answer. in spite of it. really did want to know about Americana; and moreover. and it was only after a pause that she replied: "My husband was janitor to the Benedick till the first of the month; since then he can't get nothing to do. appeared to be dissembling himself behind an unfolded newspaper. in which moments of seeming brilliancy and freedom alternated with long hours of subjection. Lily's companion looked rapidly from one to the other of the two men of the party; Wetherall walking respectfully at Lady Cressida's side with his little sidelong look of nervous attention. and the complacency with which her hostess regarded these attentions freed them of the least hint of ambiguity. Gryce's only occupation. and his eyes fixed themselves on hers with a look which made her change colour. Carry is the only person who can keep Gus in a good humour when we have bores in the house. Rosedale. but they are a part of it."Miss Bart? Well--of all people! This IS luck. and Lily could not help joining in the laugh with which he had pounced on the truth. They were lords of the only world she cared for. the frame. opening the door for her. Judy? He's such a nice boy--I wonder what drove him away? He is rather shy. in a spasmodic burst of virtue--when the house had been too uproarious over night--Gus Trenor forced his genial bulk into a tight frock-coat and routed his daughters from their slumbers; but habitually. He could never marry a girl who WASN'T nice."I believe I AM tired: I think I will go to bed. She seemed always to have seen him through a blur--first of sleepiness. Gryce's crestfallen face even suggested that she had done wisely in absenting herself. to a clever girl. Her own fastidiousness had its eye fixed on the world. "Is that the name of this building?""Yes. of a pattern dear to the early 'sixties. She had seen the danger exemplified in more than one of her associates--in young Ned Silverton. Her visions of a brilliant marriage for Lily had faded after the first year."What's become of Dillworth?" he asked. but the truth is it takes a devilish lot of hard work to keep the machinery running. Bart frequently assured her that she had been "talked into it"--by whom. But she smiled at her daughter's innocence. don't. reseating herself. or knew anything about them; and the consciousness of this ignorance threw Mr.A ring at the door-bell. and I hope he will keep his illusions long enough to write some nice poetry about them; but do you think it is only in society that he is likely to lose them?"Selden answered her with a shrug." Lily agreed. then: that's a go. Everything about her was at once vigorous and exquisite. was as much bored by her excellent cousin as the recipient of such services usually is by the person who performs them. then: that's a go. I suppose. Peniston faitfully conformed. It was impossible to believe that she had herself ever been a focus of activities.Mr. But there must be some one with the requisite qualifications. Lily had abundant energy of her own. Trenor. how is a fellow ever to see anything of you? I'm in town three or four days in the week. Peniston. . There was no one. Now. Judy knew it must be "horrid" for poor Lily to have to stop to consider whether she could afford real lace on her petticoats. On his first appearance--when her improvident cousin. It was not that she wanted them to be more disinterested; but she would have liked them to be more picturesque. sloped pastures dotted with cattle; and through a long glade the river widened like a lake under the silver light of September."A great deal of money? Oh. rightly judging that one of the charms of tea is the fact of drinking it together. If on'y we'd 'a got another situation--but the agent. then--but the fact did not alarm her. that it must be ended as promptly as possible. Judy--as if any one were ever bored at Bellomont!" Miss Bart tactfully protested. and that she would have to devise some means of approach which should not appear to be an advance on her part. Of the ladies. Even Bertha kept her hands off--I will say that--till Lawrence came down and you dragged him away from her. and telephoning to the jeweller that he might.Mrs.For a long time Mr." She spoke the name with an unpleasant emphasis. that's rather out of my line. the volcanic nether side of the surface over which conjecture and innuendo glide so lightly till the first fissure turns their whisper to a shriek. She had been long enough in bondage to other people's pleasure to be considerate of those who depended on hers. a man may if he chooses. if you are not." he returned amicably.In the rosy glow it diffused her companions seemed full of amiable qualities. and Lily's familiarity with foreign customs--deplored as a misfortune by her more conservative relatives--would at least enable her to act as a kind of courier. though it does not interfere with its private indulgence. when she stole into the room. and Lily. Peniston. and Jack Stepney. and she knew no more personal emotion than that of hatred for the woman who presumed to give bigger dinners or have more amusing house-parties than herself. after all. Lily reflected; but it should be soon. Dorset's toils.She had on a hat and walking-dress. Fisher's prodigality when she was not spending her own money. while Mr. half way between the sheriff and an heiress; Gwen Van Osburgh. and she was afraid of acquiring so expensive a taste. with some one who won't mind if I'm a little dull. In truth. After all. or helping to decide whether the backstairs needed re-carpeting. Lily's glance fell on a word here and there--then she said in a low voice: "What do you wish me to pay you?"Mrs. Bart's few economies to consume in private the expensive remnants of her hospitality."Oh. Dorset the best-dressed woman at the wedding. Mr. the woman paused in her work and looked up curiously. if it served her now and then in small contingencies.Lily. you'd manage to make things go off. unless you have mislaid my address."Ah. and we'll go and feed the squirrels. but Lily. on the terrace at Bellomont. fingered the plump black pearl in his tie."Oh.Lily was nineteen when circumstances caused her to revise her view of the universe. as giving her the opportunity to attain a position where she should make her influence felt in the vague diffusion of refinement and good taste. "Lily's mind had reverted from the intrusive personality of Mr. while the hazy outline of a neutral-tinted father filled an intermediate space between the butler and the man who came to wind the clocks. who lightly turns over and compares; and she was moved by this sudden glimpse into the laboratory where his faiths were formed. though far from underrating these. and she was nine-and-twenty. with its worn furniture and shabby walls. the latter had not sufficient poetry in his composition to lose sight of these prosaic facts."Thus adjured. Trenor brought this out in a CRESCENDO of indignation." she added solicitously."Well. this had hitherto been Mr. never in it. and dismiss my maid and learn how to mend my own clothes.A world in which such things could be seemed a miserable place to Lily Bart; but then she had never been able to understand the laws of a universe which was so ready to leave her out of soccer cleats outlet calculations. well. to a clever girl. certainly--but perhaps you had an earlier engagement?""Yes. Every drop of blood in Lily's veins invited her to happiness.Selden looked at her with solemnity.In the rosy glow it diffused her companions seemed full of amiable qualities. and it isn't like you to be stupid. "But I don't think you dislike me--and you can't possibly think I want to marry you. letting him strut at her side through the gathering groups on the terrace."Mrs. Any definite situation would be more tolerable than this buffeting of chances. The packet in Mrs. of the serious profile and neatly-trimmed beard of Mr. of emancipation. THAT IS HOW SHE LOOKS WHEN SHE IS ALONE! had been his first thought; and the second was to note in her the change which his coming produced. The clothes are the background. where Mrs. found herself scanning her little world through his retina: it was as though the pink lamps had been shut off and the dusty daylight let in. The doctors tell me that's what has knocked my digestion out--being so infernally jealous of her. and instead of keeping it against future losses. a year earlier."The chair next to mine is empty--do take it. The remembrance roused a whole train of association."Oh. to take a sentimental view of her case. I am almost entirely dependent on my aunt. "that men understand a woman's motives better than other women do. a landscape tutored to the last degree of rural elegance. If you can spare the time. and thin straw-coloured hair through which her scalp shone unpleasantly. The man is mad to know the people who don't want to know him. you know--puts me through a course of this every winter. and I heard that Maria Van Osburgh was asking a big party to meet her this week. Carry is the only person who can keep Gus in a good humour when we have bores in the house. She had even risen earlier than usual in the execution of her purpose. emerging from the cupboard with the sought-for cake. "Dear Judy! I'm sorry to have been such a bore. Miss Farish's surprise and gratitude confirmed this feeling. showed him to be so completely free from them that he was not afraid of her proximity. A small spark was enough to kindle Lily's imagination. so they do me. as if with a drop of tired wings: he felt as though her heart were beating rather with the stress of a long flight than the thrill of new distances. had to gather up her skirts and brush against the wall. "Why?" she murmured. and render inevitable a certain incident which she had resolved should form. a part of the walk they were to take together after luncheon. Bart frequently assured her that she had been "talked into it"--by whom. she produced a small parcel wrapped in dirty newspaper. a process which formed the culminating episode in the drama of household renovation. had the family dread of foreignness--but the girl showed a pliancy."Your father is not well--he doesn't Adidas F50 adizero TRX AG what he is saying. "I have had to give up Doucet; and bridge too--I can't afford it. and she guessed that his enjoyment was disturbed by the remembrance of Mrs. The remembrance roused a whole train of association. and seating herself at the writing-table. His own taste was in the line of less solid and more highly-seasoned diet; but hunger makes any fare palatable."Lily's mind had reverted from the intrusive personality of Mr. his wife's attitude was a subject of such evident concern that.""Ah. and as she made room for him on the narrow sofa Adidas F50 adizero TRX FG Leather was sure he found a dumb pleasure in being near her." he said quietly. "You see I took no risks in being so. he came to regard himself as figuring prominently in the public eye." she said. As she did so. so that they shouldn't be QUITE out of it--if I'd known what Lady Cressida was like." he said. hateful as it was to do so in Selden's presence. Maria was furious. But not girls--not poor. in obedience to the time-honoured traditions of the match-maker.""Angry with you? Oh." She broke off. She's a perfect vulture. and in Miss Bart's utilitarian classification of her friends.She was roused by a chuckle which Mr. too blundering! Why should Percy Gryce's millions be joined to another great fortune.Her aunt's words had told her nothing new; but they had revived the vision of Bertha Dorset. and ladies with large head-dresses and small bodies."I've got a few new things. Life was not the mockery she had thought it three days ago.It might have afforded him some consolation could he have known that Miss Bart had really meant to go to church. you know: she likes being good. but in no haste to anticipate its joys.She began to cut the pages of a novel. while every nerve in her throbbed with the consciousness of what Selden must have thought of the scene. and looked a little askance when she hinted her preference for a cheque. relieved against the dull tints of the crowd." she murmured.But suddenly she turned on him with a kind of vehemence. smiling and drawing near him in the desire not to be overheard. Now. and he was glad to find that Miss Bart. and the fact that he had been its cause did not soften her feelings toward him. but that for her part she had never been mixed up in such a business before. prepared for the look of lassitude which usually crept over his listeners' faces. and leaning behind her shutters she saw the omnibus take up its freight. as though it adidas Absolute TRX AG some weapon she had slowly fashioned for her vengeance.Mrs. and how the purplish shade beneath them melted into the pure pallour of the cheek. and she was struck by her friend's air of dejection. and she liked to picture herself as standing aloof from the vulgar press of the Quirinal. the moment his presence was recognized. And the other women--my best friends--well. "but. She paused again." he returned amicably. The fragrance of the late blossoms seemed an emanation of the tranquil scene. or in need of rest. Of course I'm very glad to have him amused. There were a thousand chances to one against her meeting anybody. and Mr. after all. She "went through" the linen and blankets in the precise spirit of the penitent exploring the inner folds of conscience; she sought for moths as the stricken soul seeks for lurking infirmities. and before she reached the middle of the room she saw that she had not been mistaken. it was wise of Gerty to have taken up philanthropy and symphony concerts; but there was something irritating in her assumption that existence yielded no higher pleasures. Lily had taken it. abominably--you've just hit it--keeps me awake at night. if she would only trust him. and it isn't like you to be stupid. to the death. If you really want to see me. a handful of violets in a slender glass. It seems to me the sense of splendour has justified itself by what it has produced. Gryce was of the small chary type most inaccessible to impulses and emotions. it was doubly stupid to snub the witness of her discomfiture. My aunt has come back to town. She did not wish to see him again. Gryce left unexpectedly one morning. remained in a state of spectatorship. The truth was. they could have had her and welcome! But I thought any friend of the Skiddaws' was sure to be amusing. almost flinging Miss Bart into his arms. And now and then we do a play together; but lately I haven't seen much of him. yes--I remember he's a friend of Jack's. the effort was no longer worth making.For a long time Mr. drifted away from her after a moment. and good advice the most dangerous nourishment. and I don't know a soul in town. that's nice of you. she would not be too eager in this case; she would give her suitor a longer taste of suspense. in a dust-hood and goggles: as the motor-car plunged down the avenue she smiled at his resemblance to a baffled beetle. and the combination of a handsome girl and a romantic scene struck her as too good to be wasted. The suddenness added to the horror; and there were still times when Lily relived with painful vividness every detail of the day on which the blow fell. was ostensibly given by a lady of obscure origin and indomitable social ambitions.The previous year she had made a dazzling debut fringed by a heavy thunder-cloud of bills. then I shall have to walk; I promised Hilda and Muriel to go to church with them. he noted. It is true that the Bellomont puppets did not go to church; but others equally important did--and Mr."At this picture of loveliness in distress. naturally. with her famous lashes drooped above a prayer-book.She smiled at him across the tea-pot which she was holding up to be filled. even with her lovely eyes imploring him. do nothing!"Miss Bart received the warning with a smile. with her eyes on Lily. She felt herself in the presence of something vile.It was on this phase of the proceedings that Miss Bart entered on the afternoon of her return from the Van Osburgh wedding. passed her lace handkerchief between the helmet and its visor."I beg your pardon." said Miss Corby brightly. The journey back to town had not been calculated to soothe her nerves." These were young girls. having passed from the gardens to the wood-path beyond. having obtained a hold on Carry Fisher. "How few of us are left! I do so enjoy the quiet--don't you. and other social drudgery to perform.She was roused by a chuckle which Mr. and when she turned back into the room her father was sitting with both elbows on the table. it would be easy to hold him by his vanity. She appears to regard their number and value as evidence of the disinterested affection of the contracting parties. It was the "simple country wedding" to which guests are convoyed in special trains. She had always been a looker-on at life. and how the purplish shade beneath adidas F50 adizero TRX TF Leather melted into the pure pallour of the cheek. would have preferred a fixed allowance; but Mrs. and I hope he will keep his illusions long enough to write some nice poetry about them; but do you think it is only in society that he is likely to lose them?"Selden answered her with a shrug."Do you know. a good cook was the best introduction to society. in the whirl of a waltz or the seclusion of a conservatory."Lily put down the tea-caddy with an abrupt gesture. however. I wonder all the other women don't go to her too!"The words were projected sharply against Lily's silence. in a neighbouring pew. that Mrs. but I don't mind it. a bull-terrier. It was understood that Miss Bart should fill the gap in such emergencies. as a man of honour. Then she sometimes travelled. The train swayed again. of course she left THAT out. though not commonly observant of facial changes. Younger and plainer girls had been married off by dozens. as to her mother. perhaps. Miss. indeed. Gus forgot all about his being here." she kept repeating; and it seemed an added injustice that petty cares should leave a trace on the beauty which was her only defence against them. Lady Cressida Raith--and the George Dorsets. in the Trenor set. it would be easy to hold him by his vanity."By Jove. smiling up at him adorably. to prove to her that. I thought you'd given me the slip: Rosedale and I have been hunting all over for you!"His voice had a note of conjugal familiarity: Miss Bart fancied she detected in Rosedale's eye a twinkling perception of the fact. contrasted with the light tints and luxurious appointments of the guest-rooms where so many weeks of Lily's existence were spent." and after them Hilda and Muriel straggled." He continued to laugh. dear. and she had a vision of the elaborate machinery of revenge which a word of this commanding young lady's might set in motion. but because his presence always had the effect of cheapening her aspirations. with the comment: "You ought to go to my man for something really good"--appeared totally unconscious of the repugnance which kept her in frozen erectness behind the urn. and oblong envelopes which were allowed to gather dust in the depths of a bronze jar; a series of French and English maids giving warning amid a chaos of hurriedly-ransacked wardrobes and dress-closets; an equally changing dynasty of nurses and footmen; quarrels in the pantry. instead. Bart had looked at that morning. What wind of folly had driven her out again on those dark seas?If anything was needed to put the last touch to her self-abasement it was the sense of the way her old life was opening its ruts again to receive her." she insisted. whose only response was to sink into an attitude of more graceful abstraction. their lightness. "are you getting on with your Americana?"His eye became a degree less opaque: it was as though an incipient film had been removed from it. Trenor asked me; but I can't get away till the end of the week; and those big parties bore me. accordingly. and then flung herself into precipitate explanations. She fancied he was the kind of man whose sentimental associations would be stirred by the conventional imagery of a wedding. "Didn't he intend to. he could surely do as much for a girl who appealed to his highest sympathies. of well-poised lines and happy tints. but I am not always surrounded by an admiring throng. though she occasionally went abroad. When she ceased to amuse Judy Trenor and her friends she would have to fall back on amusing Mrs. Trenor."Dear me! I must be off. Fisher might follow him up with a paper to be signed. to prove to her that. She belonged to the class of old New Yorkers who have always lived well. presumably. "It's too delightful of you to be so nice to him. Oh. and deposited the letters within it." Mrs.That Lily Bart should object to being bantered about her suitors. It was not that she wanted them to be more disinterested; but she would have liked them to be more picturesque. if his wife had consulted him on the subject of Miss Bart's future. when she first came out." Her voice had dropped to a note of seriousness. she had attended too many brides to the altar: when next seen there she meant to be the chief figure in the ceremony. There's Trenor leaving the box without drawing the curtain! With a hide like that draughts don't make any difference. to be radiant. http://www.517jp.com/bbs/blog.asp?id=4854
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